{"id":180,"date":"2010-10-03T22:02:02","date_gmt":"2010-10-03T22:02:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/?p=180"},"modified":"2010-10-03T22:04:21","modified_gmt":"2010-10-03T22:04:21","slug":"hey-its-almost-halloween-you-shits","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/?p=180","title":{"rendered":"Hey it’s almost Halloween, you shits"},"content":{"rendered":"
It\u2019s that time of the year, when the leaves turn brown, the air cools and suddenly you can buy all of the sequels to Hellraiser for a combined $17.99. So let\u2019s talk oogy boogey scaaaaaaweeee movies. Preferably with some Halloween theme. You see where I\u2019m going with this, right?<\/span><\/div>\n

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Hey let\u2019s start with Halloween(1978), one of the most influential horror films of the past eternity. Breaking news: It\u2019s still awesome. And yes, it sickens me that I feel compelled to put the year after the title so as it differentiate it from the unabashed disaster that was Rob Zombie\u2019s remake. Did you know Michael Myer\u2019s used to be a vaguely feminine pudgy kid who rebels by saying \u201cFuck you!\u201d to authority figures? And that his home life was a clich\u00e9 terrible white trash bonanza? And that he\u2019s a silly looking giant? And that all of the Myers\u2019 character mystique can be easily ruined by these revelations?<\/p>\n

Ugh. Sorry, we\u2019re talking about the original, not my fan boy rage at the new one. I don\u2019t need to recap friggin Halloween for you, right? Right. So let\u2019s just hit on some bullet points for now.<\/p>\n

– That mask. I\u2019ve heard every pretentious explanation of why it\u2019s scary from the old standard of \u201cYou can project your fears onto it! It\u2019s a blank canvas!\u201d to \u201cWait, is that Shatner?!\u201d and they all make a fair point. I\u2019m going to go with it just being terribly unsettling.<\/p>\n

– Donald Pleasance as Dr. Sam Loomis. Everything Loomis says is either ominous or epic to a degree that no other man could pull off such psychotic dialogue without looking like an idiot. But Pleasance does. The film features the first time that he tries to reason with Michael, a trend that would continue for several sequels despite Michael obviously not giving a shit about reason at this point. A wonderful unhinged performance. \u201cI met him, fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six-year-old child, with this blank, pale, emotionless face and, the blackest eyes… the *devil’s* eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized what was living behind that boy’s eyes was purely and simply… *evil*\u201d. I need a beer and justification for me saying this quote in every day life. Just once. That\u2019s all I want.<\/p>\n

– John Carpenter is good at directing movies. I have no explanation for what happened to his career after this. I have no idea why things like Princes of Darkness, Christine and The Fog exist. He did have The Thing remake and that rocks socks, but everything else has been either boring or horrendously bad. I don\u2019t get it, he\u2019s like a Hitchock\/Argento hybrid in this film and not 5 years later, he was trying to convince me that cars that drive themselves are terrifying. Dude, put on the fucking parking break already.<\/p>\n

– Jamie Lee Curtis is not attractive in any decade.<\/p>\n

– Not to sodomize a wounded horse here, but the brilliance of the original film is that there is no motivation given or even attempted to be found. Michael is simply a living, breathing instrument of destruction. He\u2019s not mad at Daddy, he\u2019s not trying to axe a little sister and he\u2019s not part of a Druidic cult. He\u2019s just killing people and he won\u2019t stop. And that\u2019s it.<\/p>\n

Still an all time classic and so far beyond what we\u2019re getting at this time that I am almost reduced to pathetic tears. Live long Michael. Live long. Just not in God awful remakes.<\/p>\n

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<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s that time of the year, when the leaves turn brown, the air cools and suddenly you can buy all of the sequels to Hellraiser for a combined $17.99. So let\u2019s talk oogy boogey scaaaaaaweeee movies. Preferably with some Halloween theme. You see where I\u2019m going with this, right? Hey let\u2019s start with Halloween(1978), one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[39,40,41],"class_list":["post-180","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-film-reviews","tag-halloween-2010","tag-michael-myers","tag-sam-loomis"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/180","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=180"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/180\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":185,"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/180\/revisions\/185"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=180"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=180"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=180"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}