{"id":408,"date":"2011-06-06T18:29:52","date_gmt":"2011-06-06T18:29:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/?p=408"},"modified":"2011-06-06T18:30:29","modified_gmt":"2011-06-06T18:30:29","slug":"the-fall-of-minor-celebrities-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/?p=408","title":{"rendered":"The Fall of Minor Celebrities 2"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Remember when I did that Fall of Minor Celebrities thing one time and it generated so much international media that it crashed the internet into the Lord\u2019s smiling visage? WELL HERE IS THE SEQUEL MISTER.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Kim Kardashian done got hitched! Unfortunately she is beyond the reach of a \u201cminor\u201d celebrity at this point, so let\u2019s take pot shots at her shitty fiance\u2026Kris Humphries! Actually, let\u2019s not. He\u2019s balding, plays for the Nets and just blew 2 million dollars on some trashy ring, BUT HE\u2019S GETTING THAT ASS. So I like him.<\/p>\n<p><a rel=\"attachment wp-att-404\" href=\"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/?attachment_id=404\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-404\" title=\"kris\" src=\"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/kris-218x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"218\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/kris-218x300.jpg 218w, http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/kris-744x1024.jpg 744w, http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/kris.jpg 800w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 218px) 100vw, 218px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Senator Anthony Weiner accidentally sent a picture of his engorged menacing whale penis over his twitter account. Ya\u2019ll can hate, but that brotha be packing that meat, yo. I admittedly tried to think up a clever way to comment on this without \u201cweiner\u201d jokes and instead just became turned on by it. Welp, there ya go. He should burst into meetings with \u201cI AM ANTHONY FUCKING WEEEEEEEEINNNNNERRRRRR\u201d and then diamond cut the President before he can get off his spinaroonie\/axe kick combo.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Kharma is the inhuman killing machine signed by the WWE to spice up their God awful Divas division. She\u2019s huge, black and terrifying. Also pregnant. She will be out for upwards of year. When informed of this, Vince Mcmahon reportedly said \u201cHow in the hell did we get that fucking wig on Ron Simmons, let alone get him pregnant?! He\u2019s gonna have morning sickness and HE\u2019S GONNA PUKE! HE\u2019S GOOOOONNNA PUUUUUKE\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><a rel=\"attachment wp-att-405\" href=\"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/?attachment_id=405\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-405\" title=\"Awesome_Kong-1_(1)\" src=\"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/Awesome_Kong-1_1-225x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/Awesome_Kong-1_1-225x300.jpg 225w, http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/Awesome_Kong-1_1.jpg 525w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Clarice Taylor AKA The Grandmother on The Cosby Show AKA Harriet On Sesame Street passed away at the age of 93. All I knew was that I saw a headline that said an old black lady who played a Harriet had died and I went into hysterics. I thought surely Carl Winslow will never remarry. Different old black lady. This joke is a stretch. Any smartass who just read that and said \u201cJoke?! WHAT JOKE?!\u201d well you just made me sad. Also, the episode where Steve Urkel finds a haunted doll that looks like him is on\u00a0Now UNLEASH ZOMBIE URKEL.<\/p>\n<p><a rel=\"attachment wp-att-406\" href=\"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/?attachment_id=406\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-406\" title=\"Urkel\" src=\"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/Urkel.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"239\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Sasha Grey announced her retirement from the porno industry effective as of this past April. Sashaaaaaa. I support her being in more mainstream films as watching the Girlfriend Experience, noticing how she gave a strangely effective performance and immediately hopping online to watch her get plowed anally while wearing a rubber pig snout was a great moment. You just can\u2019t do that with Sandra Bullock. Can you!?<\/p>\n<p><a rel=\"attachment wp-att-407\" href=\"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/?attachment_id=407\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-407\" title=\"Sasha Grey\" src=\"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/Sasha-Grey-220x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/Sasha-Grey-220x300.jpg 220w, http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/Sasha-Grey.jpg 570w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 220px) 100vw, 220px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Now go away.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Remember when I did that Fall of Minor Celebrities thing one time and it generated so much international media that it crashed the internet into the Lord\u2019s smiling visage? WELL HERE IS THE SEQUEL MISTER.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[82,80,81],"class_list":["post-408","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fall-of-minor-celebrities","tag-ron-simmons-in-drag","tag-sasha-grey","tag-zombie-urkel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/408","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=408"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/408\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":412,"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/408\/revisions\/412"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=408"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=408"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/pooke.thedreamisdead.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=408"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}