Besides Civilization 5, there has been another game that ate up my precious hours of life. Recently brought over to the States from Japan, Recettear has sold over 26,000 copies in a month alone. Needless to say there are a lot of anime fans who would play anything from Japan. I am one of those idiots. This is a shiny game that even the mrs. thought was too gay. Pedogay.

Recettear is a game that doesn’t look very deep, but it’ll sure surprise you. The premise is that the main character’s father skipped town, leaving his shop’s debt in the hands of his preteen daughter. Only in Japan. The little girl, Recette, is your typical naive, possibly retarded super-friendly-to-everyone protagonist that others constantly make fun of. Along with her is a random fairy that some called a loan shark so I imagine she’s working for the company that Recette owes money to. She, named Tear (hence the title of the game Recettear *sigh*), follows Recette and gives her instructions on how to run the shop. The first part of the game is a basic tutorial, with Tear giving out the how-tos while Recette listens and practices.

So yes, the entire game revolves around you, the player, through means of Recette, running an items shop. You have a bunch of customers who come in, look at your crap, and hopefully buy it. You take the money and must reach a quota by the end of each week for 5 weeks. The amount due is increased from week to week, causing you to obtain and sell more of the expensive stuff by the end of the month. Sounds like a blast, doesn’t it?????? WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOOOOOOO! Don’t worry grand viewer, I felt the same way when it first came out, too. I was skeptical, so I downloaded the demo. Then I turned gay and found great enjoyment from it. It was a sad day, but let me run down why I do!

The game doesn’t take itself seriously. It knows who the audience is and doesn’t go for the fanservice. There’s no sexuality, tentacle porn, or ultra “omg pretty badass boy” moments. It’s a simple game for simple people.

The gameplay is varied. Sure, most of it is via items shop. However, to obtain the items, there are a few choices: buying from the guild/market, from customers who come in to sell their stuff, by fusing ingredients together you find in dungeons, and from dungeons themselves. Whoa, dungeons? Why yes, beyond the selling portion of the game, you can go dungeon crawling as if it was Diablo~! Yay~!~!!

Adventurers are the secondary cast of colorful characters Recette will run into. They are used to escort Recette and Tear through the perils of dungeons in order to obtain magical goods to sell in the shop. However, most of the time it’s crap you can find in the guild/market. The other time it’s ingredients that you need a huge number of to make relatively useful gear/items. The dungeons can range from braindead easy to “HOW THE FUCK DID THAT LITTLE GREEN SHIT DEFEAT MY ADVENTURER?” Another tough feature is the fact that you cannot leave the dungeon until you reach every 5th floor. Bags are full and you’re on the 2nd floor? Tough shit. The best part is when you meet a boss and your adventurer is near dead. If your little fella passes out, you can only take back one item instead of 20. AWesome.

There are about 8 adventurers, if I recall correctly; each of them having their own personality quirks. A lot of them serve as comic reliefs, but most of them either make fun of or are absolutely stunned by her stupidity. Another portion of the game is going through hoops and trying to unlock all of them. At first, you start with one, then after you beat the first real dungeon, you unlock a second. Then, if you get the right ingredients, there’s a third. Blah blah blah, all the way to the 8th one that requires you to defeat a dungeon that has 100 floors! She’s a robot, so totally worth it, right? Right?

Hmm, kinda ran out of things to say. Well, the sounds and music are terrible, so keep them off. Be sure to save before you go into a dungeon just in case your adventure is retarded and gets knocked the fuck out and you lose your precious SLIME LIVERs! There are other hints and tips in regards to how to make your payments each week, but fuck you; you aren’t going to play this game anyway. Keep in mind that once you pay off your debt, the game continues, but is more focused on the storyline. I won’t reveal what it is because it’ll turn you away from the game even more. All and all; get this game if you’re bored and have nothing to do. If you enjoy buying and selling random pixelated shit to fake people, then by all means go get the demo. If not, continue playing No Mercy on the N64.